spelling error (5). Library scene with Robert. "Whipe" should be "wipe" code lines: 1339, 1345, 1351, 1385, 1391.
quote: "With one last thrust, you feel his hot sperm shoot down your throat. At the same time, your own dick starts twitching and your balls tighten, releasing strings of cum on his feet. When he's done, he pulls his dick out. "Wow... we made a mess. At least you did." He says looking at his feet. Lick your cum of his feet. Whipe it off with a tissue."
there's another grammar error, i think, i found in the code, not the text. I"m not sure what "go straight to the dead" means, perhaps dean? "Mr. Holland, just what do you think you're doing in an educational facility?! Go straight to the dead."
around code line 341. Quote:
""O-oh, s-something just... just fell on your... on your crotch." At least now you have your proof that he gets embarrassed.(set: $scream to 'yes')
"Mr. Holland, just what do you think you're doing in an educational facility?! Go straight to the dead. You'll be lucky if you don't get sued for sexual assault." One person in the crowd started booing, and the rest followed soon."
Hey there... kinda late, I know, but I don't think I read your comment... I'm sorry about that, mate. Email me octiwriter@gmail.com and I'll give you a copy of the game promised here and another one of your choice if you want!
Sure. I'll edit that out later, but here's my Discord: [redacted] please send another message once you're available so my username doesn't stay out in the open for too long.
The spoilers mention how there is a scene with public sex in the bathroom, however as far as I can tell (in both my playthroughs and glancing over the code), there is no scene for that. Did I miss something?
If you ever need some assistance with editing, proofreading, coding, anything really… You may contact me on discord at 1junebug and I could help you out for free because I have the skills so I might as well put them to use.
Anyway, I have a few suggestions that would help increase the quality and emersion of your interactive games.
Add a save / load system on games with multiple endings. It would be useful because it’s difficult to restart the game and try out different choices without a save system.
Proofread and edit your game before releasing final versions. This includes code.
Experiment with different color palettes, fonts, backgrounds, etc. Test out different styles that reader’s could choose from. (dark mode/light mode)
Experiment with story elements. I know that this game in specific is more erotica > plot, but providing some additional characterization and mood to the mix can ensure your story stays unique and not repetitive.
Additionally, I think it would benefit you a lot as a game dev if you reconsider the way you price things and handle your patreon/tip services. Since your games are already quite short, you could possibly release the final product to the public (itch.io versions) in full but offer early release, rough drafts, beta versions, etc… to people who subscribe to your patreon and add different rewards for different tiers. This brings in more income and will attract more consumers. I understand if you don’t want to do any of that, but it’s an idea. ^^
Yeah, I've thought about implementing more stuff to my Patreon. I just started so it's all new to me and I'm trying to figure out how it works and all. I'm planning on adding rough drafts to my Patreon, but I still don't want it to look too horrible with lots of grammar mistakes, or somehow spoil the game for my Patreon (but I'm sure they'd like to get a draft, otherwise they wouldn't play it etc)
He unzips his pants and slides them down, followed by his black boxers. He takes his shoes off and before you know it, he's almost fully naked. His member is rock hard, reading to be pleasured
I think its supposed to say ready, i'm not sure though
Hi I dont know if its intencional but on the second page there is a little mistake:
"You can get access to all my games for 2.99$ on my Patreon. The link is in the description. If you already are a MEMEBER, click here to claim your game."
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You wrote 'memeber' at the start of the play in browser
also in the bonus character sex scene, you wrote 'you ass some attention' when he plays with your ass
"I'd ask you to get for it but your mouth is shut."
I think you meant beg
I can't quite find this one... Edit: there should be a picture attached to this comment. For some reason, it's not showing.![]()
Well fuck... thank you for pointing it out! Write me an email octiwriter@gmail.com and I'll send you a copy of my game.
spelling error (5). Library scene with Robert. "Whipe" should be "wipe" code lines: 1339, 1345, 1351, 1385, 1391.
quote:
"With one last thrust, you feel his hot sperm shoot down your throat. At the same time, your own dick starts twitching and your balls tighten, releasing strings of cum on his feet.
When he's done, he pulls his dick out. "Wow... we made a mess. At least you did." He says looking at his feet.
Lick your cum of his feet.
Whipe it off with a tissue."
there's another grammar error, i think, i found in the code, not the text. I"m not sure what "go straight to the dead" means, perhaps dean? "Mr. Holland, just what do you think you're doing in an educational facility?! Go straight to the dead."
around code line 341. Quote:
""O-oh, s-something just... just fell on your... on your crotch." At least now you have your proof that he gets embarrassed.(set: $scream to 'yes')
"Mr. Holland, just what do you think you're doing in an educational facility?! Go straight to the dead. You'll be lucky if you don't get sued for sexual assault." One person in the crowd started booing, and the rest followed soon."
Hey there... kinda late, I know, but I don't think I read your comment... I'm sorry about that, mate. Email me octiwriter@gmail.com and I'll give you a copy of the game promised here and another one of your choice if you want!
Hi, just a little mistake in one of the first passages, after you shake Oliver's hand:
> No one has called your name 'cool before'
Shouldn't it be "No one has called your name 'cool' before", taking the word before out of the quote?
Yes, you're right. Give me an email or a discord user so I can send you a copy.
Sure. I'll edit that out later, but here's my Discord: [redacted] please send another message once you're available so my username doesn't stay out in the open for too long.
I should be open to DMs from anybody.
Add me on Discord - octiwriter
I'm a little confused about something.
The spoilers mention how there is a scene with public sex in the bathroom, however as far as I can tell (in both my playthroughs and glancing over the code), there is no scene for that. Did I miss something?
Fuck, I was supposed to say that I'm going to add that this week with the bigger step-brother
Basically the go to the bathroom option will actually lead you to the bathroom
Anyway, I have a few suggestions that would help increase the quality and emersion of your interactive games.
Thanks for the feedback dude! So here's the deal:
1. This is a nice idea I hadn't thought about before. I'll have to look into how I can program that.
2. It's almost impossible to catch all mistakes as I'm just one guy that's doing everything.
3. This is also a nice idea, but I'll have to learn how to program it.
4. Hm, that's actually also nice, but I just don't know how to do it though. XD It's different when I'm writing a regular story without choices.
Additionally, I think it would benefit you a lot as a game dev if you reconsider the way you price things and handle your patreon/tip services. Since your games are already quite short, you could possibly release the final product to the public (itch.io versions) in full but offer early release, rough drafts, beta versions, etc… to people who subscribe to your patreon and add different rewards for different tiers. This brings in more income and will attract more consumers. I understand if you don’t want to do any of that, but it’s an idea. ^^
Yeah, I've thought about implementing more stuff to my Patreon. I just started so it's all new to me and I'm trying to figure out how it works and all. I'm planning on adding rough drafts to my Patreon, but I still don't want it to look too horrible with lots of grammar mistakes, or somehow spoil the game for my Patreon (but I'm sure they'd like to get a draft, otherwise they wouldn't play it etc)
"Because this class is hard as fuck for me. Ever harder than you are." You blush and turn to the side.
Is it supposed to be ever or even?
Grammar aside, good game!
He unzips his pants and slides them down, followed by his black boxers. He takes his shoes off and before you know it, he's almost fully naked. His member is rock hard, reading to be pleasured
I think its supposed to say ready, i'm not sure though
Yup. I fixed it. Can you give me an email or a discord to send you the free copy?
discord is imsorry_notreally
Hi I dont know if its intencional but on the second page there is a little mistake:
"You can get access to all my games for 2.99$ on my Patreon. The link is in the description. If you already are a MEMEBER, click here to claim your game."
Yup, I dunno how I didn't catch that. Should have run it through Grammarly. Anyway, do you have Discord where I can send you a free copy or an email?
Sent. Please make sure to check in your spam folder just in case. You're welcome!